chap 5-7 and further thoughts

i just finished reading chapters 5, 6, and 7 of Richardson’s book.  he is so precise in his explanations of things.  i will keep this book for a long, long time.  i will need it to refer to often, i think.

umm. . . i am not feeling very good, though.  as i read more and more–about blogs and twitter and RSS and Flickr and wikis and all the other ways to connect with lots and lots of people in many different ways. . .    . . . i just. . . to be very honest, it makes me nauseous like i need to throw up.  and i don’t mean that rudely or stubbornly.  i mean that honestly.

i feel horrible saying that–i don’t want Dr. Crovitz to think i’m not taking it seriously or being open minded. . . i don’t want to be a teacher that he and my other professors would have deep doubts about. . .

i am learning a lot about the many brilliant uses of the Read/Write web, and so much of it i plan to incorporate in one way or another into my classroom. . . i can clearly see the varied and effective uses for many facets of the web.

but at a certain point–i’m not quite sure where that point is yet–my guts really do start to wriggle on the inside of me.  am i allowed to not want to be that connected to the “well over 1 billion people” who are now online (Richardson, 85)?  is it okay to genuinely not be concerned with what others are doing or saying or thinking and the constant interconnectedness to tons and tons of people that i don’t know–that don’t know me–that i don’t have relationship with?

lots of magazines, often the news, and reality tv tend to make me feel this same way that i’m attempting to explain.  so many people sharing/showing so much.  so little remaining sacred or secret . . . worth discovering through digging a bit.

is it voyeurism that i’m thinking about?  i think it’s great that people want to share their business and knowledge and bring their expertise together–i really do.  my goodness, we as people are so much better together than we are apart!!  but i am genuinely not that interested in other people’s business.  and i’m not really into sharing my own–not with those i don’t have relationship with.  i’d much rather spend face time with people–with my future students and strangers and friends–than bookmark and tag online. . . and tweet them about project thus and such.  and again, i’m not trying to be flip–and i’m not criticizing people who love this stuff.  in fact, i feel like something’s wrong with me for not buying into it.

i just. . . my heart cries a little at the amazing amount of connectedness with very little actual connection.

i’m thinking right now of people like Salinger and even Keanu Reeves pops into my head–people many people know about, but who manage to remain a bit of a mystery.  i like that i a lot.

i’m really sorry too if i’ve come off. . . rude, ignorant, closed-minded, judgemental. . . those things are not my heart.

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